Repay The Love: Caring For Mom Or Dad As They Get Older

Your memories of growing up are idyllic. You remember the lavish thanksgivings, the Christmas’ spent eating the perfect meal that your mom had spent hours preparing, and the Sundays spent fishing with dad. The love and support that your parents gave you were unconditional and have made you who you are today. Now, as your parents creep into old age, those memories seem further away, but they are as vibrant and happy as ever. It’s time for you to repay that support and care for your elderly parents in the most loving way possible.

Elder couple swing

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Living Arrangements


You may wish to invite your mom or dad into your own home to live with you. This is the ultimate way of caring for your elderly parent and gives them the security of living with loved ones. You will also feel safe in the knowledge that their care will be of the highest quality as you will be the one in charge of it.


If you have kids, having grandparents living under your roof can be enriching as your children grow up. They’ll be able to reel off stories of the olden days, fascinating your kids and getting them enthralled by historical tales of life before the Internet and social media. At the same time, your kids can enhance your parents’ lives through their youth and vitality.

Elder couple viewing scene

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When Your Parents Can’t Live With You


There may come a time when the medical, social, or emotional needs of your parents become too much for you. This can heighten feelings of guilt and shame especially when you can see that your parents do not wish to leave the security of your home. However, there will come a point when you must make a decision that puts the needs of your immediate family first yet still ensures the care of your mom and dad. You cannot perpetuate a situation that sees you being on hand twenty-four hours a day to look after your parents to only then see this causing friction with your spouse and limiting the time that you can spend with your children.


Sourcing potential homes for your elderly parents can be daunting and seem like an impossible task. Broach the subject with a parent early on, so that they have time to get used to the idea and, after some resistance, there will be a possibility that you can work together to decide on the best residential care.


You might be able to come to a mutual decision that can benefit everyone. For example, there is home care for the elderly in their own homes which means they won’t need to go into a care home. But it depends on the situation because if they need help with medication, a care home might bring more peace of mind and will guarantee they are taking their medication. 


If your mom or dad requires medical care, it’s vital that the care home you choose is confident in administering their medication. You don’t want to visit mom or dad to find out that you have been paying for a service that has not been delivered. This would require you to turn to a medical whistleblower to expose the fraud and ensure your money is returned to you. More importantly, you would have to find another home for your parent which is hugely disruptive and upsetting.

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Constantly Show Your Love


Having an aging parent can be fraught with difficulties. You may see a shift in the mood of your kind and loving mom resulting in bad-tempered episodes and tearful conversations. This can be heartbreaking to witness but also frustrating and upsetting for your mom. It’s up to you to remain patient, reassuring, and loving towards your parent. By working together, you can ultimately ensure the best possible care for your mom and dad.

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