Serving Their Wishes: Preparing Yourself For The Death Of A Parent

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There are few inevitability’s in life. When we are taking care of aging parents we’ve got to prepare ourselves for the fact that they will pass away. It’s not necessarily something that we want to think about, but emotionally and practically it can be something that can help us get the grieving process started. But in one respect we will struggle to imagine life without our parents as they’ve been there for all of the big moments in our lives we will have to face it at some point. And as difficult as it can be, what can we do to prepare ourselves?

 

Serving Their Wishes

We have to remember that as our parents get older or become unwell we will want to avoid thinking about them passing away, but we have got to remember that preparing emotionally can help us and help them. We need to remember that there are things that they will want to leave for us and there are things that we can help them to do. We could help them to create a record of their life by incorporating stories and anecdotes into a book or even prepare a videotape for them to leave behind sage advice. And as morbid as it can be from your perspective, helping them to prepare the funeral can help to achieve closure. Picking the songs for the ceremony, the dress code, and even the headstones, can be a very therapeutic process. Helping your parents to pick through headstones made by Memorials.com or other suppliers can give them a far better idea of the legacy they would like to leave behind. We have to remember that it’s not just about us; we have to serve their wishes first.

 

Reminisce Before They Go

We live a life of regret on occasion. It can be magnified when someone we love passes away. There is always that regret that we didn’t tell them that we love them or forgave them while we had the chance. If we take the opportunity to honor them while they’re still alive and reminisce about times gone by it shows them how much they mean to us. One of the things we tend to do is wait until the funeral to share those funny stories or what they meant to us. In one respect this is futile. Why don’t we include our parents when we’re looking back? It’s one of those little moments that you will remember forever. Taking an opportunity to remember about times gone by and bring things up that you had completely forgotten about can give you a newfound perspective of the situation but also of your parents. In one respect it’s the perfect opportunity to be their child again rather than being all grown up. When our parents treat us like children it can be frustrating but it’s at this point where we should remember that they want to to view us as their little babies again.

 

Understanding Your Grief

Preparing for their death is physically and psychologically draining. We’ve got to remember that grief is such a diverse topic. Everybody grieves in their own way. There is some advice on Winstonswish.org to highlight this. But some people feel that they have already grieved for their parents before they’ve gone. This is especially true with those that have dementia or age-related cognitive decline. And the very act of passing away solidifies it in their minds. The most important thing to remember is that each situation is unique. When we are preparing for death it is something that we have to recognize but also understand that these things can take time. Grief is not a one-size-fits-all situation. And this is especially true with our parents. When we start to think about those times when they picked us up after we grazed our knee, all the way through to helping us buy our first house, all of these little acts given by someone who is not here anymore can greatly overwhelm us. And grief is not something you need to go through alone. But you should also remember that grief is about celebrating who they are. When our first parent passes away it is a major shock and everything caves in but we have got to remember that if we focus on the act of death we’re not celebrating their life.

 

And don’t forget it’s not anything you need to go through alone. There is always plenty of help available through professional organizations. We all prepare in our own way.

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Things to Think About As You Get Older

We’re all getting older. There’s no stopping your body from aging, even if there are various cosmetic treatments that help us to pretend that we’re not getting older. It can be difficult to grapple with the reality of getting older, but it’s something that’s essential for all of us to deal with. As you age and start to approach your later years, there are some important things to think about if you want to make the most of it.

 

What Your Priorities Are

 

Everyone has different priorities as they get older. Some people don’t want to stop working, as they fear it would mean they have nothing fulfilling to do with their life. Other people want to retire as soon as possible so they can spend more time with their family, travel, or enjoy life in other ways.

 

Staying Healthy As You Age

 

As life takes its toll on your body and every part of you gets older, it’s crucial to take care of it. Both your body and your mind are affected by age, so it’s worth thinking about how you want to take care of them, or even if you’re concerned with looking after yourself at all.

 

Preparing for the End of Your Life

 

You might not like to think about becoming ill later in life or about your death, but being prepared for these things can be helpful not just for you but your family too. By thinking about how you want to be cared for if you can’t care for yourself, you can have control over your future.


Infographic Design By Bradley University

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Conflicts after a devastation….

Some days you go through life and have nothing exciting happen. It seems like these are short lived but you still enjoy them. Then there are times when something so traumatic happens you aren’t sure if you will ever get back to the way it used to be.

August 2017 was that time for us!! We survived a category 4 hurricane and are still dealing with the aftermath. I can go to the local grocery store and just look around to see most people are talking to others about it and what their experience was.

Strangers helping strangers and people actually talking to their neighbors. Then there is the ugly side…

I own a condo in Rockport, Texas that was damaged due to the Hurricane. I, along with all of the other owners barely knew what steps we needed to take after the Hurricane. We depended on our Board of Directors to guide us throughout this process.

This was definitely not a good decision since they too had never experienced what the process was. Instead of hiring outside help, our leaders decided to hire a certified “plumber” as our project manager and that is when the conflict began.

Most owners may not have been aware of what all was needed but decided they wanted to be aware of the process that the BOD was taking so we could to get the maximum amount of insurance legally allowed for our damages. After learning everything we could, we started to pressure the board and became more of a voice to our leaders.

August 25th Harvey hit our community, by November we had 2 of our Board of Directors resign and we became a more communicative community. We now have released our “plumber” and are using a structural engineer to guide us on the right path.

After saying all of this, I think it is important to not depend on others after a devastation but learn everything you can to help protect yourself. DO NOT BECOME A VICTIM AGAIN!

 

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