Not all of us can be the star of the show all the time. Some of us like to take a back seat and allow others to hold the limelight. However, have you thought about your motivation behind this mindset? Do you lack confidence? Do you find that you sometimes really want to say something, but always hold it back? Life is not easy at times. Many of us have really busy lives, and we are constantly juggling a thousand things at once. Perhaps, you don’t want the limelight because you are unhappy with something. A few extra pounds, for example. It is perfectly natural to feel as if you just want to hide sometimes, but that should not be how you live every moment. You need to go through the low period, tackle all your demons, and get back to a high period. There is only one way to do this, and that is to work on you. It may seem a little selfish, especially if you have children, but the reality is if you are showing the children a timid, un-confident person, they may end up not respecting you, or worse, ending up un-confident themselves. You need to focus on you, to give the right message to your children, and everyone else, show that you mean business.   

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Take some time out

You need a sanctuary. Somewhere you can go for ten minutes or half an hour every day to get away from it all and relax and unwind. This is so important for your health, both mentally and physically. Stress can build up and, over time, can have a devastating effect. If you can just get away from it all and disappear into that private space, you will feel so much better. Perhaps you could benefit from learning how to meditate. If you are continually battling thoughts, you may need a new perspective. Time out will, first of all, give you the space to reflect upon things. You may be able to start prioritizing the things in your life. If you are overwhelmed by the amount of stuff going on, you may need to think about what you can cut out. Becoming more mindful, and trying to understand your own motivations behind behaving in specific ways will help you no end. If you can build a better way of thinking, it will help you in so many ways.    

Start saying No

It is not your responsibility to fix the problems of the world. If people constantly ask you for favors, this could be work colleagues or friends and acquaintances, and you have a habit of saying yes, you have got to be strong and say no. Overloading yourself with other people’s tasks is not good. You need to prioritize yourself, your family, and your life. This is not selfish. This is common sense. If you are running around after other people all the time, who is going to be there for your children. You and they should be first. Being a people pleaser does not earn you any respect. In fact, quite the opposite is true. You are being used and taken advantage of. So start saying no, and you will feel the power of this word, as every time you say it a load is taken off your shoulders, and you become more confident as a result.

Streamline your life

If you can manage the first two tips, this one will come naturally. You need to stop doing too much. Everyone does things they don’t need to and waste time. Time is a precious commodity, and you need to focus it on the areas of your life that are the most fulfilling. If that means cutting people and ties out of your life, so be it. If you feel that way, these people do nothing to enhance your life anyway. Many people and their opinions are detrimental to yourself. Keep the people that bring you up and say goodbye, at least symbolically to the ones that don’t. In addition, think about better ways you can do household tasks, like are you one for making a lot of trips to the corner store. You should try and get everything you need in one supermarket shop. This will save you time for more important things. Having more time for you and the family, and getting rid of negativity will change your sense of self-worth, and cause you to be more relaxed.   

Fix up your image

This can mean a lot of different things, but if you look better, you will feel better and have more confidence. Since you now have more time, get out, and do some exercise. Go jogging a few times a week that will help you lose those few extra pounds. Exercise is a natural mood enhancer too. It makes the body less stressed, and it floods your system with endorphins. If jogging is not for you, why not go walking. In fact, you could invest in a puppy here so you will always have a walking partner. Not only that, dogs have a way of bringing joy and happiness into anyone’s life. Think about your diet too, swap sugary foods for fruit and vegetables. Go out and purchase a new wardrobe of clothes. A little bit of retail therapy will be great. Go get a new haircut and facial. There are many ways you fix up your image. It is up to you. 

Stop doubting yourself

When you realize that your thoughts have traveled down a certain negative route, have a word with yourself. Stop and think, how have I got here? Why do I think I can’t do this or that? A lot of mental issues people have is to do with an inability to analyze their own thoughts. You are a master of your own mind, and if you think negatively, you will be depressed. Swap those ‘I can’ts’ to ‘I cans’, and you will start to feel more confident. It all starts and ends with you. No one can tell you what to think. So if you want to have confidence, you need to start taking control of how you think.